I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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