I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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