well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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