Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
