They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize