I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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