just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
