If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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