I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
