Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
