So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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