So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
