I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
no. you can't hotbox the world.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
