help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
