Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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