Your mouth is God's brothel.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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