Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
So much rum. So many feels.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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