i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
