We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
