Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
