how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
