My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
