Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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