So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
OPIZZABONMYDICK
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
