haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
