Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
