Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
