what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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