but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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