***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
