If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
