why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
