so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
