How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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