Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
