I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
