Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
