I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
