i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Come on in and take your pants off
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