Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
