It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Drunk is not a location!
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
