North Korea, Best Korea!
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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