Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
