K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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