guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
