did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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