apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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