you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
