I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
