Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
