i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
what day is it and did you see me today?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
