i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
