the new term for farting is butt boxing.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Randomize