my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
