Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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