I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
